11188 visits since 03/07/01 -=Mail/MSN=- sprained_soul@hotmail.com -=Featured Link=- Listening to 11.975hz - The official webcomic of #a!. 09/30/06 Cocktail Time Kill. 12/11/03 Conveyerbelt dreamscape. 09/24/03 Studded leather Envy. 06/26/03 Your very own anything. 02/11/03 I am part Hamlet, part eunuch. 11/17/02 I liked you better when I didn't know you. 10/13/02 No one likes you and you're going to lose. 09/13/02 I'd sell my soul for a Klondike Bar. 09/12/02 From lonely to only. 06/14/02 Spoonfulls of sidewalk wisdom. 05/11/02 Spontaneous human combustion on a bus. 03/24/02 We are all there is now. 03/18/02 Know what I'm talking about? 03/11/02 I wonder what it's like to be dead. 03/07/02 Lights off, Insanity on.			From lonely to only     I woke up too early that day, sleep still in my eye, her visions still in my pants. It burnt to think, unfocused rage and restless hate thinking - morning had broken. It was the first day of my re-dedication to solidarity, to un-being and hostile non-conformity when it came to them. Some people take vows of silence, vows of clean living and vows of chastity, I took a vow of self-destruction, a vow of overcoming natural instincts, a vow of fuck you. It's strange submitting to things you're unable to contemplate, some have called it the calmness of madness but I call it the advancement of being. Some call it religion. Can't make your mind unlearn to look both ways before crossing the street? Can't make yourself hold your hand in the flame? Can't find a reason other than spite to keep on living? The lonely road is the answer. The path of the wise, the path of evolution, furtherment and being through un-being. The lonely road is solidarity beyond thinkable means, the lonely road is for the strong and determined, the lonely road should be for all of us but we're too delusional to take it. How many times have they made you small? You went home and dreamt of killing them, of sinking your teeth deep into their neck and ripping out their windpipe, blood all over your face and righteous wrath in your eyes as you watched them suffocate to death on their own blood. You've done it and I know you have, we all have, there's nothing for us to hide. Our first instincts is to kill, to hunt, to eat, to sleep and to fuck. The lonely road is not about transcending these, no, the lonely road is about defeating your urge to commiserate, to be submersed in humanity and to keep walking onwards in life. Be stuck and be still, be alone and blind - this is the lonely road. I remember that day with the clarity of a rape. I took the bus into town, I still had to pay the bills, had to do the nine to five. And there she was, simply existing. She was not on the lonely road and was therefor my enemy, I wrote her off like a car, she didn't exist in my world and yet she was intent on trying to make herself register. She said "Mind if I sit here?" "Yes." I didn't even look at her, I addressed my answer to space, I didn't even stop reading my paper. "Well, how about if I sit on the other side of you?" She looked like a lamb, disgusting and simple. "Hey." I finally looked up from my paper "Get the fuck away from me." I dismissed her like fraudulent charge. No one ever said the lonely road was easy. If you ever thought drinking yourself to death was romantic, if you've ever thought that the man who said "No man is an island" was wrong, if you've ever entertained the thought of monk-dom, if you've ever considered dating someone to make them feel the pain the last great one inflicted on you, if you've ever contemplated existence as merely survival - the lonely road is for you. It's about having faith in nothingness, it's about overcoming those urges to be adjusted or skewed, it's about rejection. If you think you're better off dead, die. If you think you're better off alone, be alone. If you think the world is fucked, fuck the world. The lonely road takes all comers, it is sympathy and compassion, it is happiness and a security, it is a mode, it's a mission. Have you looked in someone's eyes and known they were lying? I mean really KNEW. They were shifty and darty, sweating and stammering, trying to cover their apparent tracks. You felt superior and powerful but you also felt disgusted. This person was lying right to your face and there wasn't much you could do about it except trudge onwards. This is the example of the lonely road, throwing people to the way-side because they lie, they lie to themselves and they're lying to you. This is where the hate and frustration kick in, this is where desperation and empathy might try to dissuade you from yourself but it's important to show them what you can do. They can't trick you like they have the others, you're the truth, you're what can't be contained and examined, you're what they walk away from with flushed cheeks, you're the one to clear the room with reality. If you thought people couldn't handle their own shit when it was handed it to them on a day to day basis, try being the delivery guy to everyone you meet - The messenger will be shot. People will hate you for your truths, people will hate you for rejecting them, people will hate you for the sheer fact that those on the lonely road are too strong for them to handle but don't forget; The tallest blade of grass is the first to get the chance to stop the mower blade. Nothing will stop you when you've been on the road long enough, people will try to corner you, tell you you're sick, that you're useless, that you're nothing without them. By then, you'll know that they're all weak pieces of skin, co-dependant to the last. I plead to you, extend yourself, define yourself with undefinition, become one of the solitary wanderers on the lonely road. Walk the lonely road and be free.